Forgiveness: – letting go of grudges and bitterness.
When someone for whom you care about hurts you, you can hold on to hatred or may be the thoughts of revenge or the other way are embrace forgiveness and move forward.
What is the meaning of term forgiveness?
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life
Benefits of Forgiving
- Healthier and Happier Relationships
- Less anxiety and stress.
- No Depression.
- Lower risk of getting involved in wrong habits.
It may be easy to look around our world today and see the appearance of chaos, difficulty and strife. Yet, when we come from an open heart, we can also see our opportunity to love all things into balance, joy, harmony and peace.
Too often, we punish ourselves for past mistakes, as if we could somehow “make up” the wrong that we’ve done. We walk through each day feeling less-than. We call ourselves losers. No good. We live chained to our past, holding on to hurts and grudges. And though no one else may know about our secret pain, the negative emotions we feel gnaw away at our joy and satisfaction in life.
Forgiveness does not exonerate the one who hurt you nor does it trivialize the depth of your trauma.
What it does do is liberate you and your soul from living in the Horror house of your old bad memories that aren’t more worthy in your life. Forgiveness, then, is a gift you must find a way to give yourself regardless of whom or what has dropped you into this grievous state of affairs. I earnestly believe that non-forgivingness is the leading cause of divorce — not adultery or even economics, which are often touted as the culprits.
It has been a sword devastating sisters, mothers, fathers, and sons. It has damaged office relationships and undermined the teamwork that increases profit margins and collapses the best of the best into a business model with higher yields and greater proficiency!
So, then, forgiveness is essential if we want to grow into the fullness of God who created us to be. As we are made in his image, we share his capacity to love, to experience betrayal from those we love, and to extend forgiveness and risk loving again. Forgiveness isn’t about weakening you but strengthening you to live again and love again, performing at your highest capacity, unencumbered by yesterday’s maladies.
How to reach forgiveness
Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:-
- Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time.
- Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
- When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you
- Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.
Tips to come one up with the realities and move forward in life:
Be honest with yourself: – “If I just pretend it never happened, maybe it will all go away,” we tend to think. Sounds nice…but not true. Choose to break out of denial. Be honest about how you’ve messed up and the consequences of your behavior. Journal out the specific behaviors and actions that are causing you angst.
Accept it for what it is:- As an imperfect person, you will make mistakes in life. Face it. You will hurt people sometimes and sometimes you will get hurt by others as well. You will have regrets. It’s part of living in a less-than-perfect world. But you have a choice. Either your past will keep you in a rut of guilt and shame…or you will accept it for what it is and experience the freedom to move on and enjoy the now. Self-acceptance is critical to your emotional health…so don’t miss out.
Let go: Don’t hold on to guilt. You don’t need to justify your past actions or try to prove yourself. Letting go of the past means burying it and giving up your right to engage in self-condemnation. Forgiveness is a choice, but also a process. It’s choosing to stop hating yourself and cutting yourself down, but instead, seeing yourself as a valuable human being.
Develop realistic expectations:-Evaluate the expectations you (and others) set for you. Are they healthy? Or unrealistic? If you find yourself never being able to measure up—no matter how hard you try—you may just need to change a few things in your approach to life. Healthy expectations are achievable and fulfilling, not draining and overwhelming.
Forgiving may be tough but it is not impossible.
Once you learn the art of forgiveness you find the real peace in your life. Let the past events be in the past just live in the present. Stop beating yourself and thinking about someone who had hurt you in the past.
Just accept and respect yourself as you are: – You don’t need anyone’s certification to be for what you are. Because if we will not respect our identity then no one will.
Tomorrow we will discuss how tarot can help us in healing our pain and how to move forward in life with the art of forgiveness.
Tarot Card Reader/Trainer and Vastu Consultant